Andy: I'm not a fan of the Speedos. I just, I'm glad that it's moved beyond that.

Joe: Yeah. That was an early Brazilian thing. They used to fight with Speedos. I'm not exactly sure why.

Andy: I can't think of a single reason why that would make sense to me to fight another man in speedos.

Joe: Less things to grab. I think that's what the idea was, less things to grab.

Andy: I'm going to accept some more handles for people to grab onto then rolling around in fucking grape smugglers.

Joe: Yeah. There's something about those that are particularly offensive, right? Like a girl wearing a bikini bottom is not offensive at all, but a guy wearing a Speedo is very offensive. Like why is it seeing more of a man's thighs is gross?

Andy: I have no answer for that.

Joe: Yeah. If I see a guy on the beach in a Speedo, I judge him. You better have a French accent, motherfucker. You better be from a country that doesn't know any better. If you're American, you better been raised wearing those things, like if we went to the beach and Dudley showed up in Speedos, I'd be like, "Hey, fuck face. What are you doing?"

Andy: Yeah, I would have a serious talk with him and be like, are you okay?

Joe: You live in Iowa bro. You can't be wearing Speedos.

Joe: Where'd you get that?

Andy: You have a midlife crisis you want to tell me about? Yeah, we'd have a chat and if you're going to do it, if you're going to roll in Speedos, wear a fucking thong--less to grab onto. Less to grab onto.

Joe: Well, if you ever seen the Thai cups Thai steel cups.

Andy: No.

Joe: What's interesting is they still, for some strange reason, I'm pretty sure, please Google this. Are Thai steel cups still allowed in MMA? I know Kenny Florian throughout his career as a fighter wore a Thai cup.

Andy: Is this what you're describing? I mean literally just the description?

Joe: It's made out of metal. It's a cup made out of metal. So the ties, it's a very uncomfortable setup. Right. And what they do is they take this Thai cup and they tie it on and it's tied on the side. It's not a jockstrap cause Thais aren't playing games.

Andy: You talking like rope, like cinching?

Joe: Yes, cinching up your asshole g-string style deep into your asshole so that after your fight is on your, you've got a bunch of torn tissue up there. I mean you're, you're going to have some problems.

Andy: That's how you do it. If you're going to do it, do it like that.

Joe: Clamp that bitch in there, lock down. And if you get kicked in the nuts wearing those Thai cops, the guy who kicked you is the one that's hurt.

Andy: Yeah. And if you're not going to wear that and you want to get the mental advantage where the thong, but on backwards.

Joe: It's not just that, but in Jiu Jitsu it's a spectacular leverage point. Like if you, there's this hump, a steel hump where your dick is, right. And if you get an arm bar there, yes. My friend Amir, Amir Rahnavardi I rolled with him once and he mounted me and drove his dick into my chest with his steel Thai cup and I was like, fuck, that's really painful. And he's like, yeah, that's why I wear it. I was like, wow. I never even thought of that. Because instead of that position being just a bad position to be in, now it was really fucking painful.

Andy: Few people can say they've tapped to a dick.

Joe: I didn't tap to it but it was hurt. I tapped to something else.

Andy: Here's the deal though. I bet some people have.

Joe: Oh yeah, you would tap to it. Yeah. If you didn't know what the fuck you doing for sure. Like if some guy got on top of you and it was your first rodeo and he's got a Thai cup on and he's literally in your sternum.

Andy: Especially if they're skilled and they know how to apply pressure.

Joe: Yes., yes. Dude it was painful and I was like, Oh, but it opened up a door. I was like, well of course. But then we were talking about leverage points and I was like, well a leverage point, like for, I believe they're illegal in IBJJ tournaments and a lot of Jiu Jitsu tournaments because of the fact that it creates this fulcrum.

Andy: Why would you wear a cup when you roll though anyway, if it's just Jiu Jitsu rolls?

Joe: I got my dick busted once. I wear a cup. When I roll.

Andy: Do you really?

Joe: Yeah. Diamond MMA cup. Diamond MMA makes these amazing. I'll get you one. You should wear it. Protect your dick, protect your dick. It's compression shorts.

Andy: How did you break your dick?

Joe: My friend Einstein did it. Shout out to Einstein. Scott Epstein, he's the, uh, instructor at 10th planet West LA. It's not, it wasn't his fault, it was just a thing that happened. He was trying to pass my guard and he was trying to slice his knee through and he landed firmly on my dick and I didn't have a cup. And so, uh, I, I thought everything it hurt, but we kept going and blah blah blah. At the end of the workout I went to the locker room and my jockstrap was filled with blood and I was like, well that's not good. And so I peed and all this blood came out and that's not good. But my Dick didn't hurt that bad. So I was like, okay, do I go to the doctor or do I treat it like my nose? So I treated it like my nose.

Andy: Good call.

Joe: Cause if my nose is bleeding, I would be like, okay, well, it happens all the time. I'm going to treat it like my nose at least for a little bit before I have to go to the doc and say I broke my Dick. So I decided, well let's see if it still works. So I went home and jerked off. So when I went home and jerked off, it was like you ever get an egg? And there's like kind of like a half a chicken in that egg. It's like blood and like chaos.

Andy: Aw, fuck, Joe.

Joe: That's what the load looked like. I was like, well, it still works but does not supposed to look like that. So I said, let's, let's touch and go, let's see what it's like in the morning and in the morning. It's like my dick just seemed normal. It seemed fine. I peed in the morning. There wasn't any blood anymore. So, I kept an eye on it. Then eventually I didn't do anything, but I was, I was super concerned, but I immediately went and got a really good cup.

Andy: Does that change the way you roll at all? I just feel like it'd be uncomfortable.

Joe: No, no, no, no. It doesn't, you don't even notice it. You don't even notice it. My favorite are the Diamonds, because the Diamond MMA cup is a compression--It's a cup that curves under, so it goes like to the taint, but it's in compression shorts. So it's really snug down and it's designed that way. And if there's a, there's, he gave me a bunch of them to give them away. So I have one for you--who did give one away to, recently we gave one to somebody that was here.

New Speaker: The Doom guy.

Joe: Oh, Hugo. Hugo Martin, who was one of the shout out to Hugo who was, uh, the creator, one of the creators of Doom Eternals. This new amazing video game that's gonna ruin my life.

New Speaker: The best I could find is this here.

Joe: Shall wear a groin protector of their own selection as type proved by the commissioner. Yeah. See, so it doesn't say, yeah, you have to, but that's MMA.

Andy: Oh, okay. I thought this was the IBJJF.

Joe: Yeah, see it says male mixed martial artist shell wear. Now, of a type approved by the commissioner. The commissioners may say you can't wear a steel one, but Kenny Florian throughout his whole career wore a steel Thai cup. Cut to...

New Speaker: Jiu Jitsu, the IBJJF says you can't do that.

Joe: Yes you can't. Okay, there it goes. That's right. Cannot be fashioned of hard material that may cause harm to an opponent. Okay, see that's why, because the steel cup is a significant advantage. If you get into a position and you're in an armbar position, it's like doing an arm bar over a rock. I was gonna say, it seemed like it would supercharge any leverage points. Yes, it has a big effect. It's really good. But Kenny said that he'd never had to worry about getting kicked in the nuts cause it always hurt the opponent more than it hurt him. And then Thai fighters. I mean you think the way Thais kick, they kick better than anybody on the planet and they're always throwing leg kicks. So the odds, the possibility of kicking the nuts is always there. So with them that Thai steel cup was imperative and they went for function over comfort. So the Thai cop is just not a good time.

New Speaker: Going to sidetrack to answer the previous question too. In France, swimming loose fitting trunks are not allowed to be worn by men. So you have to wear a tight fitting swimming trunk.

Andy: Who is the governing body on this fashion. They want to see the outline. It's super creepy.

Joe: They want to see what you're smuggling. Who's enforcing this? This is someone---Monsieur, Monsiuer, your shorts are too loose. What do you have in your shorts.

New Speaker: That's probably like what James Bond is always wearing Speedos.

Joe: I guess, but isn't he British?

New Speaker: I bet he's hanging out in like villas and Chateaus and what not I don't know.

Andy: It's true. He's just complying with the local laws.

Joe: That's true, I guess. Yeah. Good point. Google Thai Steel cup.

Andy: Yeah. I need to see this.

Joe: So you can see what this bad boy is. Now. I don't recommend this for rolling cause I think it's rude to your training partners. But, uh, like I said, my friend Amir, he, he fucking opened my eyes to it cause I had never thought about it that way. Oh he said that's what it looks like when it's fully leather cause it's...Oh, that's a Diamond one. So that's the one that I use. That's the shit. And like I said, I'm going to give you one before you, uh, you leave here, you'll, you'll, you'll swear by it, just one good dick injury and you're going to go, okay, this is not worth it. And again, I was doing Jiu Jitsu for probably 12. There it is. That's a Thai steel cup. I was doing Jiu Jitsu for probably 12 years before I had this dick injury. So it's not that common.

Andy: So that bottom strap of the old Thai---right through the crack.

Joe: Right down the ol' pipe. Yeah. Woo. Not comfortable. I'm sure it sucks, but it's, uh, I think in a Thai fight it's probably mandatory.

Andy: Or, yeah, that might be good in a gun fight too. It might've ricocheted some of those.

Joe: Yeah, yeah. Right. Someone wants to kick you in the nuts and they're just hitting metal.

Andy: No, thank you.

Joe: Yeah, well that's what Kenny said. Kenny said, listen, if somebody kicks me in the nuts, it's bad for them. Makes sense.

Andy: Probably wouldn't do it twice.

Joe: Yeah. I mean you rarely see nut shots in Thai fights and I really think that's probably a big part of it is because they know there's a fucking steel cup there. Just a barrier.

Andy: Plus in a fight like that, I don't think a nut shot's necessarily going to end it, do you?

Joe: Well, nut shots can do terrible damage. There was a guy that fought in the UFC, Brian Green and in sparring one time he decided to not wear a cup. I think it was like just the last couple rounds of sparring and he just said, look, I'm just going to go whatever. Some guy kicked him his nuts and his nut exploded so he lost one of his testicles. You got to think of how hard a person can kick. You know, think about a guy like Style Bender kicking you in the nuts. Think about a, you know, like a real good kickboxer kicking you and it hit that little mushy little organ that makes all your jizz.

Andy: Probably pressed it against something hard.

Joe: Just flatten it and splatter it, and it can never heal. Yeah. They explode, man. Your balls can explode. Not good. You know? So that's what happened to this one gentleman who, uh, was a professional fighter. He was a Militage guy, I'm pretty sure, and lost a ball.